Far too often lately, I catch myself thinking "you better write this down somewhere! You'll want to remember it!". How often that actually happens, though, is practically never.
Tonight though, I'm writing it down. I want to always remember the moment when Nathan and I simultaneously shook with laughter and stopped dead in our tracks with worry, as if to say "if this is what's coming out of her mouth at two, JUST THINK OF THE TEENAGE YEARS." Her wit is pretty remarkable.
Background: Tyler and Caroline have a strange obsession with toothpaste. We constantly catch them huddled in a closet or corner with a tube of "trainer paste," cap off and turned up, guzzling like it's liquid gold. No matter how much they're scolded they continue to suck it down whenever possible, in which I say GROSS but at least it's not fluoride-filled and harmful.
HOWEVER, Caroline saw an opportunity to grab Nathan's tube of Colgate yesterday and proudly announced to me that she'd "eaten daddy's toothpaste!". I immediately acted grief-stricken, telling her that she was going to get so sick that she'd have to go to the hospital and spend the night. CUE THE TEARS!! She was horrified and scared to death, which made me feel sort of bad... But not really. Eating big-people toothpaste is no bueno, and she REALLY COULD get that sick. If scare-tactics work, so be it.
Fast forward to tonight and we're in their room getting dressed for bed. I'd bought a fresh tube of toddler toothpaste (since the last bubble gum flavored one was sucked down in record time) and they were more than excited to open it. Caroline sneaks some of it when I'm not looking, OF COURSE, and proudly announces that she'd "eaten NEW toothpaste!" Nathan played along and we both acted grief-stricken once again, and right on cue (again), the waterworks started flowing. She was pitiful... And scared to death...
And we felt like terrible people for making our sweet little girl cry (even though it was just a little funny). We quickly told her that it was just a joke - that she wouldn't be going to the hospital to see the doctor but that the toothpaste would, in fact, make her very sick if she kept eating it.
With that, she was satisfied.
Fast forward 20 minutes.
Tyler had a slightly runny nose when we were doing baths, and we noticed that he sounded pretty congested when we tucked him in. After lights were out and good nights were spoken, Nathan and I decided to give him a dose of Tylenol to help him sleep (in case of a midnight fever). With medicine in-hand I went back into their dark room and told Tyler he needed to open up, and immediately he was ecstatic. (Medicine and toothpaste really do it for my kids, if you haven't guessed by now). Caroline shot up instantaneously and demanded that she needed medicine as well, to which I replied "no ma'am you don't... You aren't sick. If you wake up tomorrow and you are sick, I'll be most happy to give you medicine then."
Her reply: "but mama I AM sick!! I...ATE...TOOTHPASTE!!"
Caroline 1 - Parents 0.